Loving with Intention in 2008

By Lisa G. Kramer MSW, PCC


Now that the holiday season is behind us, and we are in the swing of a new year, this is a perfect time to reflect on your relationship with your spouse or significant other. What successes did you experience as a couple in 2007? What challenges have you overcome? What do you want to create in the coming year? The following exercise will assist you to ‘complete the old’ and ‘create the new’.  In doing so, you can gracefully let go of the past year and set your intentions for the coming year. I complete this exercise for myself and with my clients each year. The process of taking the time to go through each step is empowering, enlightening and energizing. It is also fun to reflect on the intentions set from the preceding year and see what has manifested.    

Completing the Old

Step One

Begin the exercise by reflecting on the past year, 2007, in each area of your relationship.  You may want to use the Relationship Wheel** for this step.

•    List all of your Wins, Successes, and Breakthroughs

•    List all of your Losses, Disappointments and Breakdowns

Regardless of whether the item is a “win” or a “loss”, you are not as likely to be as open to the next opportunity in your relationship unless you are complete with past accomplishments and disappointments. When you complete, you create space energetically for new things to show up in your relationship and in your life.

Here are some examples:

•    Win – In 2007, we sold our house and down-sized by moving into a townhouse. It felt great to go through the process of cleaning out the home we had lived in for the past 23 years, sell the house in less than a month (before the real estate market took a downturn), and find the perfect place to live.

•    Win – In 2007, we became empty-nesters. While this was both a win and a loss, we were happy to see our younger son begin college and make a successful adjustment away from home.

•    Loss – In 2007, our plans to visit our older son who was studying abroad fell through. It was disappointing for us to miss the opportunity to spend time with him during his semester abroad.

As you write out each win and loss, take some time to reflect on it. What do you experience now as you think about it? Notice any emotional charge that surfaces. Do not judge it; simply notice it and allow it to be there. Then ask the question, “What have we both learned from this experience?”

Step Two

Choose 5-7 lessons you have learned this past year that you want to take into 2008. When thinking of what lessons to include, remember that you will want to consciously use these lessons in the coming year.

Here are two examples:

•    Lesson – In 2007, we discovered how our physical environment (our ‘old’ house) had been a drain on our relationship. We didn’t realize until we moved into our new space how much our physical environment impacts our relationship.

•    Lesson – In 2007, we learned to let go and trust that our son would find his way living on his own at school.

Creating the New

Looking at all areas of your relationship. imagine ahead to December 2008. 

•    Write a list of your Wins, Successes and Breakthroughs for 2008. Be specific and write them as though they have already happened.

•    Create a Right Brain Vision for the coming year. This might take the form of a poem, story, collage, or drawing; anything that captures the essence and excitement of the intentions you set for the coming year.

•    Find a special place in your home to display the Right Brain Vision. Since this is a relationship vision, you may want to display it in your bedroom. The Vision will serve as a reminder of what you wish to manifest in your relationship.

*For a copy of the Relationship Wheel, go to: http://www.lovingwithintention.com/download/rw.doc


** To schedule a relationship coaching session with Lisa Kramer to Complete the Old and Create the New, contact her at lisa@livingwithintention.com or (610) 292-3090.

Lisa Kramer MSW, PCC, is a professional coach, coach trainer, author and speaker. Lisa is passionate about assisting coaches, psychotherapists, counselors and spiritual leaders in their professional development. She is the author of Coaching with Intention and Loving with Intention: A Guide for Relationship Coaching. Lisa is on the faculty of the Institute for Life Coach Training where she trains professionals to become coaches. For more information, contact Lisa at Lisa@livingwithintention.com or visit: www.livingwithintention.com and www.lovingwithintention.com

 

 

Book


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Lisa’s Newest Book: Loving with Intention – A Guide for Relationship Coaching.

Are you interested in coaching couples to create the relationship of their dreams? Loving with Intention: A Guide for Relationship Coaching is a practical, hands-on resource for working with couples. Whether you are an experienced coach or brand new to the profession, this book provides you with the tools necessary to establish successful coaching alliances with couples that will transform their relationships.

15% Valentines Day Special

For the month of February, you can purchase Loving with Intention: A Guide for Relationship Coaching at a savings of 15% plus free s & h. Get both the e-book and printed version, pay only $30! Shipping and Handling included! Note: restrictions apply to orders outside of the US and Canada.

To take advantage of this special offer, click here

 

UPCOMING EVENTS

February 13 Free Teleclass – Celebrate Valentine’s Day and Learn About Creating a Relationship Vision
Led by Lisa Kramer

Join Lisa Kramer at 1pm EST for a free teleclass about relationship coaching with couples. She will introduce you to the Relationship Vision, an important aspect of relationship coaching that provides couples with a compelling picture of what they want to experience in their relationship and their lives. Lisa’s eight week course offering through the Institute for Life Coach Training, Relationship Coaching with Couples, begins on Tues, Mar 18th at 5pm EST. Whether you plan to take the course or not, Lisa hopes you’ll join her on Feb 13 to learn more about relationship coaching with couples. To register for the free teleclass, Click Here

February 20 - International Coach Federation Transitions SIG Monthly Teleconference
Led by Lisa Kramer

Join Lisa Kramer at 4pm EST to learn about creating a Relationship Vision
For more information, go to: http://www.transitiondynamics.com/free/transitionsig.html

February 21 Philadelphia Area Coaches Alliance Monthly Meeting Doubletree Suites Hotel Plymouth Meeting, PA 6:30pm
Led by Lisa Kramer

Join Lisa Kramer at the PACA dinner meeting for an exciting program on relationship coaching with couples. Lisa will present her Conscious Relationship Coaching Model and Live Coaching with a couple will be featured to demonstrate the model. For more information, go to http://www.philadelphiacoaches.org/monthly-meetings.html

Offerings through the Institute for Life Coach Training

Relationship Coaching Specialist Certificate Program:

For more information, visit
http://www.lifecoachtraining.com/courses/relationship/index.shtml

Relationship Coaching with Couples (Eight-Week Advanced Coaching Course):

For more information Click Here   

Here’s what one participant has to say: "Lisa Kramer's teleclass on Relationship Coaching for Couples is the most comprehensive and well-designed class I've ever taken as a coach.  She models excellence in coaching while she is facilitating the class.  Her supporting materials, including the guidebook she wrote along with handouts to give clients, are superb.  Equally important, the field works assignments she mandates as part of the class truly helped me quite rapidly build competence in coaching couples.  Learning from Lisa has been one of best coaching investments."
--Gail Kauranen Jones, personal and business coach specializing in transition.

 

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